Fasching I do not
with Carnival I associate primarily a bad feeling. For me, it was not before, as for most other boys and girls one days exuberant joy, where you could finally occur as the person who had the whole year already want to be. My male peers appeared as a robber, a policeman, as Indians, and later as a cowboy, as Superman or Batman, the girls as a bee, princess, a veterinarian or a Barbie. I too had wanted to be robbers, police officer, Indians, Cowboy, Superman or Batman. But my parents refused all these costumes, because not all of these characters got along without violence. I could go only as animal, because animals were in the eyes of my parents being good in itself. Time I was a frog, sometimes a horse, sometimes a fly. Lions and tigers were not in it, as these creatures in the GDR were not found and such a show for the carnival as a criticism of the leadership of the SED in the state and society would have been understood.
But the real suffering began for me in the fifth class. I was sent as a girl for halloween. My parents were both just become unemployed and therefore short of money. Run your own costume I could not afford it. Although I protested vehemently, but their proposed alternative seemed to me an even more frightening. So I let me put on my pink tights older sister, put her white dress and a short clip into the hair. Together with the red ink on my lips I saw certainly is not necessarily as a girl, but rather as the first transvestite of the new federal states. But my role I was probably still closer than Yvonne Lüders, whose parents are in a similar socio-economic situation were like mine and was therefore sent as a tree for the carnival. Brown pants, green t-shirt, and that was the oak. And René Schmidt, came as a disabled person. Or Mike Luetke, who made us as a job to pay his respects. He looked like forever.
But I was certainly a girl who had to suffer the worst consequences. And me, this panel followed until the present. Mike's unemployment status did not lead to social exclusion, because we did not know that the unemployed had to be excluded. In addition, as many classmates had already unemployed parents that they would rather become father with gainful employment or working mother outsider. René had to limp over the whole carnival. And Yvonne was not allowed to touch a tree three hours from the spot. But that was ridiculous compared to the experiences I made. I should now play at once with the other girls in my class. And the boy wanted nothing more to do with me. Worse, it did not work. I was an outcast among my fellow males. And if that was not enough, I was treated after the carnival of my male classmates than girls. When I went to the boys', ran the local peers like screaming. I was not Stephen, but Steffi. On school discos me Christian, Rene, Sven and Lars regularly fooled by me asking to dance with Mr. Wahl. They made these jokes are only after I had turned the tables on women's election time.
My new race also accompanied me to high school, because I also alternated with Yvonne Lüders and Benny Seifert on the vine High School in Wedding. And that is my new boy inaugurated early in my fashion preferences, which brought me a lot of attention especially the Turkish classmates. Only in the upper left to the bullying. And outside of school it happened to me surprisingly often, for example in public transport, government agencies, in supermarkets, I responded that other people with young women. "Young lady, you could do please go to the page" "I'm not a woman." "I'm probably the most mistaken." "How so? I 've got a beard. "" If I have noticed already. I have but thought they have a hormone problem. I've been wondering why they can go at a young age like this and not shave. "Maybe I was paranoid, but behind any gender confusion, I sensed the influence of my former classmates, who had the other people have dedicated to my halloween costumes.
With the addition of my studies and I moved in Friedrichshain, the wrong sex attributions but then faded completely. It was the year 2000. The demons of my childhood and youth, I now seemed to be final escape. Confident I was finally on a man. Until this year. By the end of January I started my new job as a substitute teacher at the Herder-school. In my first hour I was asked by my students why I like to dress up for carnival as a woman. "How do you get that idea?" "That told us Lüders woman." Here was Yvonne then landed and indeed as an art teacher. Why here? And why they behaved still so childish? "The young people told me of a carnival photo, on which I and my former classmate were seen. Although I denied knowing Yvonne, I have to struggle since then so that the students address me with Mrs. serine. And all just because I was then, in fourth grade, I went as a girl for halloween. And not as FDJ secretary for agitation and propaganda. Since I would only have to put on the uniform of my father's run-in. But this window dressing to me the company in 1991, was published not ripe enough.
SS
